A person's happy 3 keys (depth good text)

the Zen master Huikai in the Song Dynasty had a well-known saying: "if you have nothing to worry about, it is a good time for the world."

however, in life, we are often depressed because of some small things:

has a stable job, but disdains that the income is not high enough;

has surpassed himself yesterday. Still complain about walking too slowly;

other people's casual eyes can upset you.

in fact, the good or bad of the world and the joys and sorrows of life depend largely on your heart.

if your mindset is right, you won't be tired or worry.

to change your mindset and unlock a happy life, you need these three keys.

01

stop comparing, worry less

read such a story:

Lao Liu worked in the company for a year and won a year-end bonus of 20,000.

when he inquired, he found that most of his colleagues had only a few thousand yuan.

Lao Liu raised the corner of his mouth and sent a message to his wife: "there is no need to cook in the evening. There are more bonuses at the end of the year. Let's eat out."

the following year, Lao Liu won a year-end bonus of 6000 yuan.

he inquired again that the bonuses of many of his colleagues had exceeded 10,000.

Lao Liu was not convinced and found a leader to ask for an explanation, only to be scolded.

when he came home holding his breath, when he saw that his wife had bought a new dress, he broke out on the spot: "when money is so tight at home, you still buy clothes, do you know how to be diligent and frugal?"

receiving the year-end bonus is originally a good thing, but because of the gap with others, it has become a source of bad mood.

more than two thousand years ago, Zilu asked Confucius, "will a gentleman feel sad, too?"

Confucius replied: "A gentleman's gains and losses are indifferent, so he has lifelong happiness; villains worry about gains and losses, so there is no joy for a day."

if there is more comparison, the psychology will be out of balance, and the days will be overshadowed.

if you want to be happy, you can't always live in comparison.

the root of one's annoyance is to compare everything with others, not with yourself.

Happiness is not by comparison, but by oneself. If you always focus on others, you will not be able to live your own happiness.

02

lowering expectations leads to more happiness

some people live very hard, but are not happy at all.

because expectations are too high, perfection is regarded as the only pleasure of life; because you want to succeed so much, the pursuit of goals is taken as the whole meaning of life.

Nina in the movie Black Swan is a ballet dancer with ambition and perfection. At the same time, there was a mother who was very hard on her.

there is a major performance in which the director requires dancers to perform not only the purity and grace of the white swan, but also the darkness and wickedness of the black swan.

although Nina is the first candidate, the strength of her opponent should not be underestimated.

after several rehearsals, Nina's performance of the White Swan is unassailable, but she still fails to surpass her opponent in shaping the Black Swan.

Nina is determined to win the role and will never allow herself to fail. To this end, she is under great mental pressure, often weeping in front of the mirror and constantly hallucinating.

the director told her, "perfection doesn't come from control, it also comes from letting go."

later, she gradually let go of her worries, released her repressed side, played the Black Swan incisively and vividly, and successfully got the role.

in the essence of the six Books, it is said: "the heart desires and thinks."

people are like this. once they expect too much, they will cause a lot of thoughts, and even lose the focus of life and the way forward.

the more you want to achieve a goal, the more likely you are to be anxious and make mistakes.

sometimes, it is faster to keep a normal mind and take your time.

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there are not so many wishes come true in life, and the higher the hope, the greater the disappointment. The gap between expectation and reality often makes people fall into an abyss and find it hard to extricate themselves.

the world is so big that many people and things are out of our control.

keep expectations to a minimum, and all encounters will be surprises.

if you work hard, you will follow your fate.

03

everything is at ease

American writer Harris told his own story:

one day, a friend asked him to go to the newsstand to buy a newspaper.

the boss of the newsstand is showing an air of indifference, let alone taking the initiative to say hello.

when I bought a good newspaper, my friend politely said "thank you". But the boss still didn't take a second look at them.

after leaving, Harris said angrily, "that guy had a bad attitude, didn't he?"

my friend didn't take it to heart: "he is such a person, it's no big deal."

Harris was curious: "then why are you so polite?" Aren't you angry? "

my friend replied, "I am in charge of my mood. Why should I let him decide my behavior?" And affect my mood? "

in the face of unpleasant people and things, do not entangle, a smile is the most powerful counterattack.

it is really wise to take things aside and live at ease.

in the Book of the later Han Dynasty, a man named Meng Min went to the market to sell rice with earthen pots on his back.

but as I walked, the jar fell to the ground and broke, and the rice was scattered all over the floor.

Meng Min is like nothing.Hey, keep going.

passers-by felt very strange, so they all gathered around him and asked him, "Why don't you look back?"

Meng Min said, "even if I read it, what's the use?" There are more important things to do. "

there are three thousand things in the world, but trouble lies in the hearts of the people.

Turgenev said: "as long as everything is bearish, there is nothing to worry about, as long as you do not exaggerate the situation because of anger, there is nothing to be angry about."

when the heart is small, the matter is big, and when the heart is big, the matter is small.

if you let go, the pattern will be bigger, and nothing can easily hurt you.

the people you hate are just passers-by in your life, and the things that bother you are just episodes in your life.

everything will be a thing of the past, just let it go.

04

Life is really hard. If you want to live your own sugar

, you will always encounter a lot of unhappiness. You have to learn to add some sugar to the bitter life.

Feng Zikai wrote in "suddenly enlightened": "since there is nowhere to escape, it is better to rejoice." Since there is no pure land, it is better to clear your heart. Since you didn't get what you wanted, you might as well be relieved. "

Don't compare with others, listen more to your inner voice, and you will naturally have less trouble.

Don't expect too much of yourself. do your best, do what you can, and you will be more happy.

everything is light and open-minded, with less grievances and more open-mindedness, the mind will be at ease.

as Sanmao said: "eat a candy every day, and then tell yourself that today is really sweet."

May you hold these three keys, live with joy, and live every day as you like.